Why Women go for an Extra Marital Affair??

Reasons why women go for extra marital affairs:-

"My marriage is not bad enough to Leave but not good enough to be Happy"

Women are considered as more emotional than men.  They are full of feelings and desires.  For a woman Love, Marriage and Affair, everything is directly connected to her heart and its feelings.  During a survey it is found that most of the women go for extra marital affairs during the age between 30-40.  The women survey described their affairs as "fun," "casual," "a chance to know someone," or "just an affair."

Women are usually insightful about their affairs, knowing exactly why they want a lover.

So why a woman cheats??

Women who step out on a husband or significant other – male. She does it so for any number of reasons, the five most common of which are listed below:-

1. She wants to improve self – esteem: - In India, in a married relationship a woman hardly gets attention from her husband & being treated like a crap all day. She is desired by her husband only when he wants sex at night, in which she isn't interested in. Because, for a woman emotions and sex are correlated. She can’t be interested in 'feeling less sex'.

Woman also wants respect and love from her husband. On the other side she enjoys the attention paid to her and compliments about her abilities as well as her body in an extra marital affair. Women have affairs for their own emotional gratification. They say their affairs enhance their self-esteem by giving them positive feedback, both physically and emotionally.

2. She feels loneliness / under appreciated/neglected or ignored: - Indian woman plays many roles whether she’s a working woman or a housewife. Everyone expects that she’ll fulfill all demands of the entire family, and a woman also tries to give her best too but unfortunately when it comes to her expectations and choices no one even bothers to pay attention. 

Sometimes rude behavior of her husband also molds her mind to go for other options to overcome her loneliness. As she desires emotional closeness and intimacy.  She needs someone to talk with who will listen to her.

3. She want to feel younger and sexier: - Every woman is afraid of getting old, getting wrinkles and signs of aging is a heart break.  Every woman wants herself to be more voluptuous in front of her lover while getting physically intimate. In routine sex life with husband she is not able to fulfill her desires.

Whereas in an affair she feels more desirable and playful, she feels younger and sexier. This feeling gives her energy and love herself as a person.

4. She has less bonding: - The sex is good, but there's no emotional bonding. In bed, he knows what to say and do to cause her to feel sweet sensations all over. But outside of bed he's cold, demeaning and inconsiderate of her feelings. He's a good lover, but not a good husband and partner.

So woman gets emotionally connected to someone else who understands her in a better way.

5. She craves intimacy: - More so than men, women feel valued and connected to their relationship partner through non-sexual emotional interaction such as Touching, Kissing, Cuddling, and Gift-Giving, being remembered, and most of all meaningful communication. Women who aren't getting their intimacy needs met by a primary partner may look elsewhere, trying to meet those needs through sexual/romantic relationships.

In truth, some women cheat because they receive little sex or physical intimacy from their spouse. After all, healthy adult women enjoy the physical act of sex as much as men do. For these women, going outside the relationship for sex may be a logical, even healthy answer. That said, women also enjoy the feelings of being wanted, needed, and desired that partner-sexuality can evoke, and a woman is more likely to break her vow of monogamy because she's seeking this type of emotional connection than for purely sexual reasons.

Is Live in Relationships are acceptable in India??

Live In Relationship – What We Understand?

Live-In Relation i.e Cohabitation Is An Arrangement Whereby Two People Decide To Live Together On A Long-Term Or Permanent Basis. In An Emotionally And/ Or Sexually Intimate Relationship. The Term Is Most Frequently Applied To Couples Who Are Not Married. It Means When Two Individuals Decided To Live Together; They Are Ready To Share Their Couch To Kitchen, Their Emotions, Feelings, Desires, Dreams…...Means Everything.

Our Indian Society Has From Time Immemorial Have Been Tied Up In Their Traditions, Conventions And Value Systems.  Nothing Wrong In Following Our Culture And Values But The New Generation Seems Ready And All Set To Experiment Newer Concepts Away From The Traditions To Live Life And See If It Addresses Their Apprehensions About The Model Of Marriages.

Traditionally,  In The Indian Society,   Parents And Senior Relatives ( The Chachas, The Mamas, The Maasis And The Uncles And So Forth) Are Very Rigid And Stereotype About What They Want To Have In A Marriage Fixing And Are Adamant To Trap The Young Generation In Their Mind Set,  Either With The Prospective Bride Or Groom's Consent Or By  Brainwashing Or Prevailing Upon The Young Minds.

So  If Someone Is Around Or  Above 25 Yrs. , Then Wherever He Or She Goes, Everywhere….Parents, Relatives, Neighbors, Friends, Colleagues….I Mean Everybody Gets After His Or Her  Life And Impliedly Or Explicitly Convey Same Idea In To The Young Minds To Get Married And It Becomes So Stressing,  Nightmarish That Its Really Not Funny.

Its Not That There Is Anything Wrong In Getting Into A Marriage Relationship But The Young Generation Wants To Be Cautious Before They Can Commit Into A Life Long Relationship And Want To Check If There Is Some Compatibility Between The Two People Before They Get Into The Relationship.  They Want To Nurture A Relationship Which Will Work And Not Feel Like Trap Later. A Live In Relationship Tests The Compatibility Factor Well Without Any Legal Implication Or Social Or Peer Pressure To Remain In The Relationship.  Marriage Can Always Be Consummated If A Couple So Desires Later.

"What If I Want To Live Freely In A Living Relationship?? Can I?? "

I Am Sure Many Of Us Looking For The Positive Answer Of This Question But Due To Heavy Pressure Of The Society Only Few People Dare To Go Ahead And Live Together.  And They Are Also Being Treated Like They Are Not The Part Of Our Society Or They Have Done Some Serious Crime. Everyone Becomes Against Them.

So The Fact Is In Our Indian Society Or Indian Culture “Live In Relationship” Is Still A “Big Taboo”. On The Contradictory, A Very Small Section Of Our Young Generation Is Already Made Up Their Mind With This New Concept Of Live In Relationship. It Is About Two Persons Who Like Each Other But Are Not Ready To Get Trapped In A Married Relationship, Reasons May Be Different From Person To Person, It May Be Due To Career Or They Want To Give Some More Time To Their Relationship.
Are They Allowed To Do So Freely and Openly?

Now Our Indian Law Has Also Accepted It. A Bench Of 3 Judges –Chief Justice – K. G Balakrishnan, Deepak Verma And B. S Chauhan Said Together, “When Two Adult People Want To Live Together, What Is The Offence. Does It Amount To An Offence?  Living Together Is Not An Offence. It Cannot Be, Even Lord Krishna And Radha Live Together According To Mythology.” The Supreme Court Said That There Was No Law Prohibiting Live-In Relationships Or Pre-Marital Sex.

“Living Together Is A Right To Live” The Supreme Court Said, Apparently Referring To Article 21 Of The Constitution Of India Which Guarantees Right To Life And Personal Liberty As A Fundamental Right.

But The Only Worry People Have, Even A Girl In “Living Relationship” Has  Been Secretly In A Live In,  Her Fear Is How She Will Face The Society If She Gets Pregnant And The Relationship Gets Exposed Which She Managed To Maintain Under Cover To Have …..Either The Men And Women With This Progressive Frame Of Mind Should Have The Courage To Live Their Life Openly And Society Should Not Castrate Them Or Defame Them, So There Is No Social Stigma... And Another Issue Even In Case The Woman Gives Birth To A Child Out Of Such A Relationship And The Man Disowns The Child, Then What About The Child's Future...?

For This Also Our Indian Court Has Reserved The Rights Of Women In “Living Relationship”. Legitimacy Of The Child Born Out Of A Live-In Relationship- The Supreme Court On An Earlier Occasion, While Deciding A Case Involving The Legitimacy Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock Has Ruled That, “If A Man And A Woman Are Involved In A Live-In Relationship For A Long Period, They Will Be Treated As A Married Couple And Their Child Would Be Legitimate.” Also, The Recent Changes Introduced In Law Through The Domestic Violence Act, 2005 Gives Protection To Women Involved In Such Relationships For A ‘Reasonable Long Period’ And Promises Them The Status Of Wives.

We Encourage Young People to Come Forward and Give Their Opinion on Live-In Relationship, Both from the Man's Perspective and Woman's Perspective.

Why Women decrease their Libido at 40s?

A survey shows that the majority of men think about sex more, at least twice a day. But on the other side only one quarter women said that they think about it that frequently. So at this age both men and women fantasize less but women fantasize lesser than men.

Men want sex more avidly at this age than women. One of my friend he often raise this matter openly that his wife has lost her interest in sex at all. Sometime being friend we use to crack jocks on him but it’s true. And I was sure about it that something is really there which we are not able to figure it out.  So I wanted to know why it is happening with women. So I talked to many women of similar age group and concluded their views about it ………. ………all men…….. have a look………….....................

“Changes in our life style can also be one of the reasons of losing Libido. Sometimes it's the other way around, when stress from work, children, birth control come along, and libido goes out of the window.”

“What men rarely understand is that they want sex often and steadily, whereas women, tend to be most interested during the time they are fertile, which is about 5 days per month. You can see how there is a bit of a mismatch.”

“Well...most of us don't. But sometimes our husbands treat us like crap all day and then want sex at night, which we usually aren't interested in, and then we get blamed for losing interest.”

“ Sex for a women is connected with their heart , after so many years of marriage we start taking each other otherwise, there is no fun, after having kids, I am out of shape may be my husband lost interest in loving me, he only calls me when he need sex, otherwise…???”

“May be our Indian Male Dominating Society can be a major reason of it where women are always busy no matter that they are housewives or working, for them no Sundays, no holidays, nothing. So how can we think about sex after a long tiring day”.

So with the conclusion of some of the views of women, who admitted that they show less interest in sex with their husbands. Now responsibilities come on men if they want their wives as horny as they were right after the marriage or as a girlfriend. So they also have to take some initiative towards it.

Make her feel beautiful and loved, help her escape from her everyday life, make it exciting and different. May be you can go for another honeymoon…and improve your relationship rather complaining about it.

Is Oral Sex Safe???

Sex gives us a feeling of Fulfillment, Joy, Satisfaction and Excitement. The act of Kissing scintillates the most sensuous parts of the body -Lips and Tongue, which are considered Erogenous when used for kissing and other acts of Intimacy.
Goats, Chimpanzees and Sheep also have oral sex. So we are not the only species to enjoy this.
But sex is not always safe; excitement associated with sex can run into Fear, Tension, and Sufferings due to deadly STDs.
Oral Sex is one of the essential sexual acts of satisfaction in foreplay. So what all Oral Sex includes:-

1.     Mouth to Mouth contact through Kissing.

2.     Penis to Mouth contact through Blow Job.

3.     Sucking off Vagina by Mouth.

4.      Anal Sex -Mouth to Anal Contacts.

Most of the people think that Oral Sex is a safe activity that it will not result in any transmission of diseases. But the fact is it can be a major reason of spreading STDs in Polygamous or Multiple Relationships.
Usually the participating partner is not aware of the other partner’s sexual activities. So even a disease contracted by vaginal sex can be transmitted to another unaware partner through Oral Sex.

Although Oral Sex is a relatively low-risk activity, particularly when compared to Vaginal or Anal Sex.

Now the question is, how much of a risk are you actually taking if you choose to practice Unprotected Oral Sex? What sexually transmitted diseases can be transferred from genitals to mouth, and vice versa?

 HIV

HIV is an infection with the human immunodeficiency virus. HIV interferes with your body's ability to effectively fight off viruses, bacteria and fungi that cause disease and it can lead to AIDS, a Chronic, Life-Threatening disease.

It is possible to transmit HIV through oral sex. If you don't choose to use protection for oral sex, you should know that the risk of HIV transmission increases if the person performing the act has cuts or sores in his/her mouth, if ejaculation takes place in the mouth, and if the individual receiving oral sex has any other sexually transmitted diseases. The risk is primarily for the person performing the oral sex.

Using latex or polyurethane Condoms, Female condoms, or Dental dams is an effective way to reduce your chances of contracting the virus when engaging in oral sex.

HIV symptoms

When first infected with HIV, you may have no symptoms at all. Some people develop a flu-like illness, usually two to six weeks after being infected.

Early HIV signs and symptoms may include:

·         Fever

·         Headache

·         Sore throat

·         Swollen lymph glands

·         Rash

·         Fatigue

These early signs and symptoms usually disappear within a week to a month and are often mistaken for those of another viral infection. During this period, you are very infectious. More-persistent or -severe symptoms of HIV infection may not appear for 10 years or more after the initial infection.

As the virus continues to multiply and destroy immune cells, you may develop mild infections or chronic signs and symptoms such as:

·         Swollen lymph nodes — often one of the first signs of HIV infection

·         Diarrhea

·         Weight loss

·         Fever

·         Cough and shortness of breath

Later stage HIV infection
Signs and symptoms of later stage HIV infection include:

·         Persistent, unexplained fatigue

·         Soaking night sweats

·         Shaking chills or fever higher than 100.4 F (38 C) for several weeks

·         Swelling of lymph nodes for more than three months

·         Chronic diarrhea

·         Persistent headaches

·         Unusual, opportunistic infections

Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) and Genital Wards- HPV is the most common STD and at least 50%  of sexually active people will get it at some time in their lives. It is possible to spread HPV through oral sex, and it is believed that HPV acquired while performing oral sex is a major risk factor for oral and throat cancers. HPV can also appear in the oral cavity through vertical transmission (transmission from mother to child during birth). The use of condoms or dental dams during oral sex should reduce the risk of infection, but they will not necessarily eliminate it entirely since HPV spreads via skin-to-skin contact not through bodily fluids. This virus lives in skin not in blood; even with the condom protection you can have it because that could not cover all (i.e. balls). So you can use Female condoms to reduce the entire risk.

HPV symptoms

·         Small, flesh-colored or gray swellings in your genital area

·         Several warts close together that take on a cauliflower shape

·         Itching or discomfort in your genital area

·         Bleeding with intercourse

Often, however, genital warts cause no symptoms. Genital warts may be as small as 1 millimeter in diameter or may multiply into large clusters.

In women, genital warts can grow on the vulva, the walls of the vagina, the area between the external genitals and the anus, and the cervix. In men, they may occur on the tip or shaft of the penis, the scrotum, or the anus. Genital warts can also develop in the mouth or throat of a person who has had oral sex with an infected person.

Herpes

Although genital herpes and oral herpes are usually caused by different strains of the herpes virus, HSV-2 and HSV-1 respectively, it is possible for either virus to infect either site. Therefore, it is possible to transmit herpes during oral sex, and the virus can spread from either partner. Herpes is contagious even when symptoms are not present. Even though prophylactic medications, such as Zovirax (acyclovir), can reduce the likelihood of both outbreaks and transmitting the herpes virus to your partner, they cannot eliminate the risk entirely.

HERPES signs and symptoms may include:

·         Small, red bumps, blisters (vesicles) or open sores (ulcers) in the genital, anal and nearby areas

·         Pain or itching around the genital area, buttocks and inner thighs

The initial symptom of genital herpes usually is pain or itching, beginning within a few weeks after exposure to an infected sexual partner. After several days, small, red bumps may appear. They then rupture, becoming ulcers that ooze or bleed. Eventually, scabs form and the ulcers heal.

In women, sores can erupt in the vaginal area, external genitals, buttocks, anus or cervix. In men, sores can appear on the penis, scrotum, buttocks, anus or thighs, or inside the urethra, the tube from the bladder through the penis.

While you have ulcers, it may be painful to urinate. You may also experience pain and tenderness in your genital area until the infection clears. During an initial episode, you may have flu-like signs and symptoms, such as headache, muscle aches and fever, as well as swollen lymph nodes in your groin.

In some cases, the infection can be active and contagious even when sores aren't present.

Gonorrhea

In recent years, teenagers with throat infections caused by gonorrhea have often been in the news. Gonorrhea can be transmitted in both directions when oral sex is performed on a man, and throat infections with gonorrhea are notoriously difficult to treat. There is limited research to suggest that it may be possible for someone to acquire a gonorrheal throat infection while performing oral sex on a woman, but transmission in the other direction is relatively unlikely since the site of infection is the cervix -- a part of the female anatomy not reached during cunnilingus. Condoms and dental dams should be extremely effective in preventing transmission of gonorrhea during oral sex.

Gonorrhea symptoms

Gonorrhea is a bacterial infection of your genital tract. The first gonorrhea symptoms generally appear within two to 10 days after exposure. However, some people may be infected for months before signs or symptoms occur. Signs and symptoms of gonorrhea may include:

·         Thick, cloudy or bloody discharge from the penis or vagina

·         Pain or burning sensation when urinating

·         Abnormal menstrual bleeding

·         Painful, swollen testicles

·         Painful bowel movements

·         Anal Itching

Chlamydia

Chlamydia is a very small parasitic bacterium which, like a virus, requires the   biochemical mechanisms of another cell in order to reproduce. Bacteria of this type cause various diseases including trachoma, psittacosis, and non-specific urethritis.

Most people with Chlamydia don’t have any symptoms, but those who do might have unusual genital discharge and/or pain and burning when urinating. Women may also have lower back or abdominal pain, nausea, pain during sex, or bleeding after sex and/or between periods.

Treatment

Chlamydia is treated with antibiotics. Some antibiotics can cure it in just one dose, while others may need to be used for seven days. If you've been treated, your partner(s) should get tested and/or treated, too. And you should wait seven days or until you and your partner(s) finish the antibiotics (whichever is longer) before having sex again. This is to make sure you don’t spread the infection.

Trichomoniasis symptoms

Trichomoniasis is a common STI caused by a microscopic, one-celled parasite called Trichomonas vaginalis. This organism spreads during sexual intercourse with someone who already has the infection. The organism usually infects the urinary tract in men, but often causes no symptoms in men. Trichomoniasis typically infects the vagina in women. When trichomoniasis causes symptoms, they may range from mild irritation to severe inflammation. Signs and symptoms may include:

•         Clear, white, greenish or yellowish vaginal discharge

•         Discharge from the penis

•         Strong vaginal odor

•         Vaginal itching or irritation

•         Itching or irritation inside the penis

•         Pain during sexual intercourse

•         Painful urination

Hepatitis

There are several kinds of Hepatitis, but Hepatitis B is the one most likely to be transmitted sexually.The research is inconclusive as to whether or not hepatitis B can be transmitted via oral sex. Oral-anal contact, however, is definitely a risk factor for hepatitis A infection, and it may also be a risk factor for hepatitis B. Fortunately both hepatitis A and B can be prevented by vaccines. If you practice rimming, you should talk with your doctor about getting vaccinated. Vaccination is a good idea in any case, and the hepatitis B vaccine is currently recommended for all children and many groups of adults.

Hepatitis symptoms

Some people never develop signs or symptoms. But for those who do, signs and symptoms may occur after several weeks and may include:

•         Fatigue

•         Nausea and vomiting

•         Abdominal pain or discomfort, especially in the area of your liver on your right side beneath your lower ribs

•         Loss of appetite

•         Fever

•         Dark urine

•         Muscle or joint pain

•         Itching

•         Yellowing of your skin and the whites of your eyes (jaundice)

SpyHilis

If caught early, syphilis can be treated and cured easily with a round of antibiotics.

Syphilis symptoms

Syphilis is a bacterial infection. The disease affects your genitals, skin and mucous membranes, but it may also involve many other parts of your body, including your brain and your heart.

The signs and symptoms of syphilis may occur in four stages — primary, secondary, latent and tertiary. There's also a condition known as congenital syphilis, which occurs when a pregnant woman with syphilis passes the disease to her unborn infant. Congenital syphilis can be disabling, even life-threatening, so it's important for a pregnant woman with syphilis to be treated.

Primary

These signs may occur from 10 days to three months after exposure:

·        A small, painless sore (chancre) on the part of your body where the infection was transmitted, usually your genitals, rectum, tongue or lips. A single chancre is typical, but there may be multiple sores.

·        Enlarged lymph  nodes. 

      Summary:-  Unprotected oral sex puts you at risk for numerous sexually transmitted diseases. If you perform unprotected oral sex on your sexual partners, you should mention it to your physician. She may want to check your throat when she is screening you for other STDs.